The Points Guy’s website—luxury flying high in the sky with credit card points—just posted another article on…

Trains!

Lol.

Would you like a free glass of champagne in your superbly comfortable train seat, M’lord?

Actually, I would.

Note the ever-present subtly hidden half of the screen taken up with links trying to get you hooked on credit cards.

Not to mention the sniff a whiff of desperation with the poll they’re running on the state of travel. If they offered me a complimentary plate of truffle pasta, a crème brulée for desert followed by a smooth digestif for answering it, I’d be all in. I thought that was how it was supposed to work in the world of laps of luxury?

My bad.

Here’s the second question in their poll:

Never, you satan worshippers, never!

The next question was, “When will you feel comfortable with how much CO2 gets pumped into the atmosphere just so you can hop into a flying cigar death trap?”

The possible answers were:

• a) I am awesome

• b) I like puppies

• c) I am more awesome than awesome

• c) My grandchildren are dicks, who cares about the future of humanity.

I swear to god that was the third question.

I also assure you I’m still president. True story. Cross my heart and hope to die.