A few weeks back you may have heard about the Danish minks:

“The world’s largest mink producer, Denmark, says it plans to cull more than 15 million of the animals, due to fears that a Covid-19 mutation moving from mink to humans could jeopardise future vaccines.

“At a press conference on Wednesday, the Danish prime minister, Mette Frederiksen, said 12 people are already infected with the mutated virus and that the mink are now considered a public health risk.

“The mutated virus in mink may pose a risk to the effectiveness of a future vaccine,” Frederiksen said.

“She said the army, police, and national emergency service would be mobilised to help farms with the mink cull, which will eradicate the entire Danish herd.”

This minxy titbit hit one day after the US election, which naturally temporarily buried it. On Facebook I noted at the time:

“With the election news overload, you may not have heard that Denmark is currently killing seventeen million farmed (for fur) minks because humans transmitted Covid-19 to them, it MUTATED, and then they transmitted the new form back to humans. Have a nice day and may this also be another gentle reminder to consider your life choices from time to time.”

Talking of temporary burial:

“Dead mink are rising from their graves in Denmark after a rushed cull over fears of a coronavirus mutation led to thousands being slaughtered and buried in shallow pits – from which some are now emerging.

“As the bodies decay, gases can be formed,” Thomas Kristensen, a national police spokesman, told the state broadcaster DR. “This causes the whole thing to expand a little. In this way, in the worst cases, the mink get pushed out of the ground.”

“Police in West Jutland, where several thousand mink were buried in a mass grave on a military training field, have tried to counter the macabre phenomenon by shovelling extra soil on top of the corpses, which are in a 1 metre-deep trench.

“This is a natural process,” Kristensen said. “Unfortunately, one metre of soil is not just one metre of soil –it depends on what type of soil it is. The problem is that the sandy soil in West Jutland is too light. So we have had to lay more soil on top.”

I love how this devolved into a discussion on West Jutland soil. I guess anything to avoid talking about the Danish zombie mink apocalypse of 2020. You crazy Danes!

I’ll spare you the drone photo of the minks being poured into a mass grave like brown mince. It’s in the Guardian article though if you were looking for a reason to skip lunch.

So, how widespread is fur farming? From Wikipedia:

“Most of the world's farmed fur is produced by European farmers. There are 5,000 fur farms in the EU, all located across 22 countries; these areas of production collectively account for 50% of the global production of farmed fur.[1][2] The EU accounts for 63% of global mink production and 70% of fox production. Denmark is the leading mink-producing country, accounting for approximately 28% of world production.”

By 28% they mean 0%. A farmed mink’s life is a fun-filled 8-month extravaganza:

“Mink typically breed in March and give birth to their litters in May. Farmers vaccinate the young kits for botulism, distemper, enteritis, and, if needed, pneumonia. They are slaughtered in November and December.”

The 8-month olds are poisoned to death with carbon monoxide in a gas chamber.

Fun times.

Kudos to the Danes I guess though, they aren’t stupid: as they dodge escaped zombie minks on the lawless streets of Copenhagen, they may have seen the writing on the wall:

“Kopenhagen Fur (accounting for 40% of mink production worldwide) announced mid-November it would gradually cease operations in 2–3 years because the circumstances had critically undermined the future of the global fur trade.”

Now we wait and see whether any other countries have a similar illumination:

“An Oregon mink farm has reported an outbreak of coronavirus among mink and farmworkers.

“Ten mink samples submitted all came back positive for coronavirus, the Oregon Department of Agriculture (ODA) said in a news release on Friday. The farm has been placed under quarantine, meaning "no animal or animal product can leave the farm until further notice," according to ODA.

“The farmer and his staff have been advised to self-isolate after multiple coronavirus cases were reported among workers on the farm, the release said.”

But, don’t worry, be happy; peace and love and all that:

"We have been engaged with the Oregon mink industry for some time, providing information on biosecurity to prevent the introduction of SARS-CoV-2 and were ready to respond," ODA veterinarian Dr. Ryan Scholz said.”

Engaged, eh? Giving them free hugs or something? That’s gonna help us heaps as bro if a vaccine-resistant strain gets back out to humans. Freaking fantastic this minky shitshow is not, said Yoda.

Right, time for day drinking.

Runnnnnnnn! There goes a mutant mink! Put your mask on! It’s got me Margaret, it’s got me!

I could go on.

[Cover photo: Henning Bagger/Ritzau Scanpix/Reuters]