Cruise ships represent everything that’s wrong with late-stage capitalism: meaningless pollution, mindless travel, machiavellian tax dodging, etfuckingcetera.

That said, I’ll admit I’m interested in going on a cruise in the same way that I’m definitely interested in seeing what writhing maggots look like when you accidentally put meat in the compost.

David Foster Wallace—in his now infamous soliloquy—expanded this sensation of doom into a 24-page epic in Harper’s Magazine in 1996.

You, reader, are currently on lockdown. You definitely have time to read this.

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In other news, it turns out cruise ships are petri dishes too.

Fuck cruise ships. Don’t even think of bailing them out Trumpywumpy.

[Cover photo credit: Kim Kyung-Hoon—Reuters]